How To Deal with Someone Who is Not Supportive of Your Healing Journey

 

Have you ever interacted with someone who is not supportive of your IBD healing journey?  I know that I have.  This could be a friend, partner, doctor, or anyone else in your life. 

Unfortunately meeting people who are not supportive is a common experience.  Especially if you are taking a more natural healing route. 

The best way to handle this situation is to learn to manage each interaction.  To learn how to protect your own values.  And respect other people’s opinions.  This is not always easy.

 

To learn more about this, let’s discuss

 

• When to move on

 

• How and when to explain yourself

 

• How to find others who are supportive

 

• Learning to rely on yourself

 

• How to handle a doctor not being supportive

 

These topics will give you the knowledge and confidence to handle people who are unsupportive of your IBD healing journey.

 

When to Move On

 

If you have a friend, or acquaintance that is not supportive of your IBD healing journey.  And their lack of support is hurting you in some way.  Then stop interacting with them. 

Healing yourself from a chronic disease is a lifelong journey.  And that often means that you will change as a person.   Your values will change.  Your desires and goals for life will change.  And sometimes your friends will need to change.

If you continue to spend time with people who helped get you into the dis-ease state of being.  It may be impossible to heal while still spending time with them.  Especially if they are not supportive.  Or even in opposition to your healing journey in some way.

Friends that encourage you to drink alcohol, when you have decided to stop.  Are not friends.  They are encouraging your health issues to flourish.

Of course there may be a period of adjustment.  Where your friends need time to get used to the changes that you are making.  But if they are consistently unsupportive, consider distancing yourself from them.

Of course there are situations where you cannot distance yourself from someone in your life…

 

When and How To Explain Yourself

 

If your parents, partner, or children are not supportive of your IBD healing journey.  It may be impossible to easily distance yourself from them.

There are a few steps that you can take to help manage this situation:

• Explain what you are doing

 

• Explain why are you doing it

 

• Explain again, be persistent

 

• Show them results

 

• Distance yourself

 

Here is an example:  a 35 year old women has Crohn’s disease.  She decides to try IBD-AID to help ease her symptoms.  Her husband does not support her decision.

The first step would be explain to him exactly what you are doing to clean up her diet. 

Print out the IBD-AID diet plan.  Show him how the plan works.  Show him research articles that explain why the diet works.  Show him case studies.

This is proving the logic and research behind the steps that you may be taking.  It is showing him what you are doing has been proven to help people with IBD.

Explain to them what their potential role could be during your healing journey.  Be specific.  For example, using alternative milks in your coffee that they may make you each morning.  Or learning a few IBD-AID complaint recipes.  Or just helpful words and actions that will be supportive of your journey.

Give them some influence over the situation.  They may feel overwhelmed with the changes that you are making.  Like it is too much, too fast.  They may be worried about how these changes will affect their own lifestyle.

Ask them if they are interested in making any changes with you.  If they are not, you must accept that.  If they are interested, you may be surprised at how much involving them in the changes you are making, encourage them to support your journey.

If they are non responsive to your input.  Then try explaining it another time.  Try a different time of day.  Or on the weekend, when they feel more relaxed.  If you are persistent with what you are doing, they will see that you are serious about making these changes.

If you have someone who is consistently unsupportive.  Then ask them what they think you should be doing.  Explain that you are suffering.  That you cannot continue your life as is, because your quality of life is so poor. 

If they only want you to take medications.  Explain the side effects, and overall effectiveness of these medical options.  Opening up a discussion, and making a plan together.  May make them feel more involved in the changes that you want to make.

If they are still unsupportive.  Distance yourself as much as you can.  If it’s your partner, tell them you have to start eating separate meals.  If it’s your parents, stop sharing your healing journey with them.

This may be disappointing, and difficult.  But consistently getting resistance from someone you love, can undermine your IBD healing journey.  It may be easier to separate that aspect of your life from them as much as possible so that you can stay on track.

 

How to Deal With Strangers Who are Not Supportive

 

We have all gotten unsolicited medical advice before.  Someone who’s second cousin has IBD.  And suddenly, they are experts on the topic.

The best way to deal with these types of people is to take their advice with a grain of salt. They may have some good ideas, but no one knows your body better than you. 

These comments can sometimes be hurtful.  But remember that someone who has IBS, or had a bad stomach flu five years ago.  Does not know how to handle IBD better than you.

It is best to be polite, and move on.  Don’t let their opinion affect your life in any way.

 

How to Find Others Who Are Supportive

 

If your close family and friends are not supportive of your IBD healing journey.  You should try and find other people who are supportive. 

This could include an online group.  There are many IBD support groups on Facebook.  With many members who have unsupportive family.

You could consider joining, or creating, a support group in your local community.  This could be your opportunity to reach out to others with IBD.  And have a positive impact on not only your own life, but others with IBD as well.

You can read more about my personal support system here.

 

Learning How to Rely on Yourself

 

The bottom line is that you must be your own biggest supporter.  If you are struggling to connect with others who are supportive of your IBD healing journey.  Then you will have to learn to rely more on yourself. 

Learn tricks to help keep yourself on track.  Empower yourself by reading books that encourage a healthy lifestyle.  Set yourself up for success by being prepared.

And remember to be kind to yourself.  It is a healing journey, not a destination.  There are always going to be improvements to be made.  But any step towards a healing lifestyle, is going to have a positive impact on your body.

 

I will be writing another post soon, on how to deal with a doctor, or medical professional who is unsupportive of your IBD healing journey. 

 

You cannot force the people in your life to be supportive.  And many people may find the changes necessary to heal IBD to be too drastic to handle.  You must learn how to accept others for who they are. 

If these unsupportive people are a necessary part of your life.  The very best way to get them to support your journey, is to show them results.  Create your own healing journey, and prove to them that what you are doing is working. 

It can be a very difficult to have people in your life who are unsupportive of your IBD healing journey.  But there are ways that you can manage and hopefully improve this situation.